Simplifying - Combining blogs ...

Please go to www.sojournersabrina.com

Wow ... 3 years?

I had actually completely forgotten about this blog.  I am now reviving it.

I am still on my journey toward a simple life.  I have just read Marie Kondo's book:  http://tidyingup.com/   and have already gone through my closet and gotten rid of 3 white garbage bags full of clothes and taken them to the free box.  I still have to purchase an actual chest of drawers so I'll have drawers to be able to put my folded clothes into.

In some ways I have complicated my life in that I took on the role of Coordinator of a Steampunk Festival here in my town of Springfield.  2015 was our first year and although it was successful it took a heavy toll on my psyche and health.  This year I have a lot more help in managing the different areas and for that I am grateful.  I am still not sure that I will be able to do it another year and I hope someone will step up and take the reigns with me just being a consultant and running the website.  Here is a link to our website:  http://springfieldvtsteampunkfest.com

I'll try to write more about what other things I have done to simplify my life in another post.

I'm back!  :-)

Consistency is not one of my strengths!

Hello to the few beautiful spirits who follow my blog at all.  As you can tell, consistency is not one of my strengths. Part of the problem is I keep thinking that I need to do research and write an article that would be of interest to people and so I keep not being able to find the time to do that and thus, don't write a thing in this blog.

I wanted to talk a lot about gardening and the like but the truth is I end up getting so involved in other things, I don't do it ... don't garden.

I have a lot of website work to do for various clients including my son!  I recently started getting more involved in my community and this takes a lot of my time but it is very fulfilling.  I'm trying to find that balance in my life and, as I know all of you know, creating a true balance is almost impossible.  If I spend what I feel is quality time with my boyfriend and working in my community and go to work every day, then I don't end up spending time with my grandkids.  If I spend quality time with my grandkids and spend quality time with my boyfriend then I don't give as much to the community and I don't get as much work done (my at home work).  It is a constant struggle.  I know I am not alone in this ... but it is still very frustrating.   I am trying to just let go of what doesn't get done and do the best I can and play catch up here and there.

I guess I am not creating a "simple" life after all.  I tend to complicate things.  Having ADHD doesn't help, of course.

Anyway, this is just a silly blog post but a blog post just the same!    :-)

Processing Life As It Is ....

I posted this picture on my facebook page and also these words below.  I thought I should post it here so I don't lose it as things eventually disappear on facebook after a while and I liked where my mind was at the time I wrote this.

About the quote above:  I know this could be misinterpreted as just giving up and giving in ... but I think this is on a much deeper level ....  Sometimes for me just in my daily every day life, I am constantly thinking about how I should be, how my day should be, how my life should be and what happens is ... I have spent my entire life with a vision of what I wanted to be but never really looking inside the me that is ... and accepting her with all her flaws ... instead I've always pined over the me I thought I should be ... instead of loving and accepting the me that is.  So what this quote does for me is it brings me back to the present ... the here and now ... the life I have right now ... the day I have right now ... the me I have right now ... Can I always improve on all these things?  a better me ... a better day ... a better week?  absolutely ... but improving things has to start with understanding and realizing who and where I am right now ... that has to be the base to spring from ... it goes back to basic simplicity ... being happy with simple things without getting caught up in the rat race of doing more and getting more ... remembering what is right in your life when little things get you down ... I could go on and on with what this quote does for me ... but I think you get the picture ... :-)

Herbs, minimalism, decorating, ADHD thinking, projects - realistic and unrealistic, etc. - yep all this in one blog post ...

I am so happy that my herbs are coming up!  All but Rosemary.  I keep talking to her and urging her to burst through the soil but nothing yet.   :-(   I continue to check on the dampness of the soil, water when necessary, and talk to Basil, Mint, and Thyme - thanking them for showing up and making me happy.  I am hoping this weekend is going to be nice so I can start my "bag" garden.  I've bought two bags of top soil and we have picked out the spot where I will put them.  I've already bought my onion bulbs and also some other veggies.

I am still dealing with becoming more minimalist.  I tend to be able to purge things and not hold onto things but I still have too many things, I think.  I truly would like to have a bohemian type of minimalism - if there is such a thing.  I've been inspired by the Innermost House.  The simple style and warm minimalism speaks to me.

I have begun converting my room into a more simple style.  I used to be addicted to reds, golds, purples - a mixture of all kinds of colors.  There is nothing wrong with it but I'm losing interest in it.  I am drawn to whites, ivories, etc.  Now when I go to the thrift store, I look for white and ivory textiles.  Here is a pic of my dresser top. It used to have a red, pink, and gold throw on it.  What a
difference a white tablecloth and white accessories (along with gold) make.  I plan on painting the dresser that ivory color of the swatch you can see laying on the white cloth there on the right.  The box was one of the first wood-working projects my son did years ago.  I found the two gold frames on the roadside just a few doors down along with a few really nice baskets.  I took them gratefully!   I also found an old style bedspread that I fell in love with at the local thrift store.  It is pure white.  My room is becoming brighter and lighter and just feels good.  The color of my room was the color it was when I came here.  I actually really like it.

Oh you may wonder why my "room" is a bedroom and why I don't sleep in the same room as my boyfriend.  The truth is he is a very light sleeper and I not only snore but I also move around a lot due to my arthritis in my neck.  I move many times during the night from one side to the other side and I take a while to position my pillow just right under my neck so I won't wake up with a horrible headache.  We make it just fine with this arrangement.  I would feel much worse if I was keeping him up all night when he has to get up so early to go to work each morning.  So my bedroom and my office are all upstairs.  I like it.  I'll show pictures of my office at some point.

My ADHD brain still gets me in trouble.  I literally began thinking about the possibility of offering to do a column in the local paper.  My idea for the column would take a crazy amount of research time.  What was I thinking?  Luckily, I haven't made that offer because realistically, I would never be able to pull it off.

My idea?  Oh yeah.  I have this weird feeling of sadness when I see empty buildings - residential or commercial.  I would love to do a column where I pick one building at a time and research not only the history of it but also talk about ideas on how to bring it back to life.  Can you imagine how much time it would take to do that type of column?  Goodness gracious.  But that is how my ADHD brain thinks.   So many cool wonderful projects come up in my brain.  I can spend a lot of time just THINKING about doing them - and the time it would take to actually DO them?  It's truly impossible.  I cannot even get the things done that I have on my plate now ... how could I possibly take on that project, as well?  I can't.  That's the reality of it.  I am soooo trying to become more of a realist in some ways.  I need to focus my dreaming on things that I really could possibly accomplish - like planting a small garden - growing herbs in my kitchen window - finishing the glazing/painting project on the sun porch once it is warm enough to open the sun porch back up for the summer - projects like that.  Those are realistically doable and I will be able to enjoy the fruits of that labor - in some ways, literally!

Saturday morning ....

It is Saturday morning.  The world is frozen again outside this April (Spring?) day.  Last week the weather was nice and in the 50's.  It turns out it was just a teaser and rain, then sleet, came yesterday.  Spring in Vermont!  My herbs I planted in terra cotta pots in my kitchen window are sprouting.  The Thyme came up first and is bursting out of the dirt.  Basil came second and the Mint is sprouting a couple of small sprouts.  I'm still waiting for Rosemary to burst out of the dirt.

As I've talked about before, being organized is very important to the ADHD brain.  Getting disorganized can create total chaos in our brains.  So today I have decided that I MUST take Saturday mornings as my own.  Saturday mornings to work on whatever I want including projects, writing exercises, etc.  This morning I will be redesigning my son's marketing materials.  I just got a gig to design a website for a court reporting service.  I organized my budget this morning and paid some bills.

I also must write something here on my blog every day.  Even if it turns out to be a paragraph.  I MUST write something every day.

I also have started writing my boyfriend's life story.  Even his therapist from years ago told him he must write a book.  Unfortunately, he is not a writer.  Lucky he found me.  (smile)  

I am not saying much right now.  I might come back and edit this later.  But I must get on to my project of redesigning my son's marketing materials!

Too many ideas in my head ... not enough time!

I have ADHD.  For those of you who have it you understand what I mean when I say there are so many ideas swirling around in my head that it is hard to focus on just one.   I am trying to teach myself how to move away from some ideas that are just a waste of time.  Imagining what I would do with each and every empty building I see is a waste of time.  I will never have that empty building so how on earth would I be able to do all the wonderful things that pop up in my mind to do with it.  I am constantly decorating my house and other people's houses in my mind.  Why ... ?  So I have not come up with any clearcut exercises to stop these thoughts ... these ideas.  I simply at this point just try to talk to myself and say clearly to myself, "Stop! This is something you can never accomplish so why waste valuable brain space on it!"  Yes ... I do talk to myself that way.  Sometimes ... even out loud.   My mother always called me a dreamer and I guess that is definitely true.  There is absolutely nothing wrong with being a dreamer!  But what is invaluable is to be a "selective" dreamer.  Dream about things that might actually be able to be accomplished!  I have totally landscaped our yard in my mind.  Do I have the expertise or the money to do everything that I have landscaped in my mind in reality?  No ... pure and simple.  No.  So ... what I have had to try to do is think of one small project at a time.  Otherwise, all the projects swirl around in my head and nothing ever gets done.  I am very proud of myself for following through with starting an herb garden in my kitchen window.

 I just started it around April 2 so nothing is really growing yet except for my Thyme.  It is starting to sprout up!  I am so excited.  I do hope the other three (Basil, Rosemary, and Mint) sprout soon!

I am very proud of myself for actually following through and purchasing the terra cotta pots and the seeds and planting them!  This is a project that has begun.  It will be a continuous project in that I have to remember to water and nurture them every day.  I do have an idea of my next small project like this.

My other project, of course, is this blog.  I know that no one has found me yet and those who do have not really found as informative a blog as they would hope for.  I hope to change this in that I really want to find time to do more research so I can actually provide a lot more information than just my personal ramblings.

It is very hard for an ADHD brain to manage time.  It is also hard once disorganized to reorganize and keep organized.  ADHDers LOVE to be organized. But it is so hard sometimes to get there and then to stay there.  It is hard for me to function well sometimes if I am not organized.  Disorganization around me just makes my brain feel disorganized.  Too much clutter around me makes my brain feel cluttered.

When I first started my job this past August 2013, the desk I inherited was full of stuff!  All of the office essentials were on top of the desk:   paper clips, binder clips, tape dispenser, stapler, rubber bands, notepad, files containers, etc.  I immediately ordered two drawer organizers, put almost everything in those drawers to my right and now the top of my desk just has one of my computer monitors, the telephone, and one step organizer for files that I use every day.  To my left is a cabinet that houses other files that are currently (but maybe not daily) being used.  Hmmmm ... I think I will take pictures at work today and maybe my next blog can be on the organizing techniques I use at work that work for me.

I am headed to work right now.  It is 8:25 a.m. and I am supposed to be at work at 9:00 a.m.   I work less than a mile from my home.